She runs.

But only with her bag.

(Sounds like the start of a really bad joke, doesn’t it?!)

When I’m talking bag, I mean bag. Not some simple contraption wrapped around her waist, but a mammoth hip pack that includes two bottles of liquid, pepper spray, keys, cell phone, food, ID, and a few other essentials.

If she doesn’t have something that’s supposed to be in her pack, she can’t run.

I know her issues. I used to be there. I was a pack runner, music runner, drink runner, bathroom runner, good luck shirt runner.

I was one of those girls who couldn’t step out the door unless I had everything in place.

The problem? When those things weren’t in place, I couldn’t run, just like my friend.

I’ve worked hard on giving up the things I thought I Had to Have for a run, and I’ve worked instead on just running.

For the longest time I couldn’t run without my pack. I gave up the pack, and now can’t run with anything tied around my waist, even during half marathon lengths and more.

I thought for a while I had to run with music. Then I realized it was nice to have some silence in the morning.

This summer I got into a “I have to have” a certain type of drink when I ran. What if I got overheated? What if I lost too much sodium?

Then I had a conversation with a doctor whom I was interviewing for an article I’m writing about IBS and running, and she said, “People have been running for centuries without,” sugary electrolyte replacements. That’s not to say you shouldn’t prepare for the heat, of course. Living in the south means running in thick humidity many months of the year, and I am a sweater – I need something to keep my body in balance when it comes to liquids and running and fluid replacement. But that doesn’t mean for every four miler I need to be sucking on a blue drink. So two weeks ago I gave up my sugary sweets unless I’m doing over 10.

I also got into the habit of stopping after every 2 miles for a drink this summer. I thought I needed to do this, because of the heat, but then I realized this was just another “I have to” that had become habit.

Do you have an “I have to” set into your workout routine, and if you do what is it?

And it isn’t this . . .

As I have dealt with this hamstring issue now for almost a year (diagnosed as tendonitis about six months ago), I’ve researched a variety of techniques to keep my muscles stretched and healthy, so they don’t seize up on me again.

So far, things have worked. I roll my muscles out daily, sometimes twice a day; I do yoga several times each week, along with three days of pilates class, also which incorporates stretching (though I have to say I stay in it because I love the hardcore core workouts!); and I have been sitting on ice.

Ouch.

I have to admit, it took me a while to get to the point of facing the last option. I had heard of people doing ice baths after long runs, and I”d laughed at them. Ice baths? Put on a pack, I thought. Why subject my already sore legs to searing ice?

Because, I found out, it really seems to work.

The idea behind ice baths is that it will reduce swelling and help get rid of lactic acid, which will minimize the pain you might experience the next day. Then the warm blood flows through the area you’ve iced and it helps to keep the toxins out of the muscles.

For me, I believe it has helped my tendonitis. I haven’t been sore (knock on wood) since I started ice baths a few weeks ago. I do them now on any run 5 or more miles; I feel that because I’m likely to swell anyway with the issue, I may as well prevent it as best I can before I jump in the bath. Besides, putting an ice pack on the fronts and backs of my leg and then alongside my knee would take forever; why not jump in the bath and be done with it in 10 to 15 minutes?

Do you ice bath? If so, how often, and what is the mileage at which you decide to hop into the tub with a few cubes?

I’d been training to run Disney again this year when one morning I realized my knee hurt. Just like that, bam – no notice, nothing.

It hurt pretty badly for a week or so. I laid off training, cut back a day, shed 15 miles from my weekly runs . . . and it got a little better.

So I decided to try for a half instead.

As soon as I increased mileage, my knee began again. Stiffness, soreness, but no swelling and i could still run. It was after the run, in particular the next day, when it really hurt.

So, I did what every runner does at the first sign of injury – I ran, and while i ran, I tried to self diagnose.

First mistake.

So many things ’sound like’ other things. Runners knee sounds like some type of patellar syndrome, or maybe it is.

Tendoitis may be bursitis may be a ligament strain. Or a Baker’s Cyst.

I did the RICE thing. Cuz that’s what they all say to do.

I did some foam rolling; the next day when I touched my calf muscle I thought I might faint.

I prepped for the half marathon, and i ran it, with limited pain during – just at the start – but a few noxious calf cramps during. I had to stop and stretch my leg out because it felt as though my leg may not stretch, may not hit the ground, mid stride. It wasn’t a knee locking, but a definite leg pain or cramp.

Some other issues:

calf cramps

hamstring tight

stiffness down the inner portion of my knee, nearest the left knee, when I attempt to extend leg and stretch

pain when pressing on the joint line

Then I called the doctor.

He did a few quick tests, schedule an MRI, said the Xray showed nothing, and then, the dreaded words: It might be a meniscal tear or strain.

Argh.

Not what I wanted.

I’m 40 now. I’m not getting younger, and surgery, while not too bad for this type of thing (in most cases) is sometimes more difficult to recover, so I’ve read, when you get older.

I don’t want to stop running.

I spent yesterday curled in a ball crying hysterically.

Today I had the MRI and Monday I get the results.

In the meantime, no tear, no tear, no tear.

Oh, and by the way, the Susan Komen half marathon in Jax is great. If you want to run a half or full, do it there. (Although the full I’m not sure about – not much shade and it got pretty warm toward the end).

THe only complaint- soup at the finish line. Come on now, who runs half a marathon or a full and asks for a bowl of soup at the end?

Otherwise, a great, great run. I did it in 2:14, including the walking for my cramping and a potty break. I was happy witih that. I don’t care about speed these days, I just want to be able to run.

Period.

No tear. Please, please, please no tear.

I’m excited about the expo. I love expos! I love getting my race packet, and I love going through all the great bins and choosing a new bumper sticker or T-shirt to add to my running memorabilia collection.

This time around, I’m excited about taking my youngest daugher along to the expo.

My daughters, almost 6 and 3, know I run. They watch me run. They cheer me on. They make signs. They come to races.

They know that protein should be eaten a few minutes after a run, or at least before a half hour passes. They know that proteins and carbs should be mixed. They know that if their urine is yellow they need to drink more. Yep, I’ve taught them all these health-related things that make running a healthy sport :0)

On Friday, my youngest gets to be a part of the expo excitement, the madness before the madness, the pre-race HOOPLA!

I’m so excited I could pee my pants.

I can’t wait to show her the different stations, the shoes and shirts. I can’t wait until she feels the excitement in the air as I pick up my packet and explain what we are doing and why. She’s been a part of every other part of the race – the finish line, the post-race fun. Never the pre-race prep though. I think she’ll love it.

I did 10 miles around Orlando on Sunday. It went well, my legs are ready, and I can’t wait to get to that race, even if I do have to leave quite a few hours early to catch that darn shuttle on time!

I did 5 today, will do 5 on Thursday and 3 on Friday. Then, Sunday, it’s off to the races! I’m taking a disposable camera for some photo ops. Guess 2.5 miles is actually on the hard packed sand. At least, it had better be hard packed!

In the meantime, I’m trying to get back into a stretching/yoga routine. I need to do it for my legs, and for my head.

Until next time, runners, I hope all your miles are fun ones!

Prior to distance running this choice would have been made long before now. Now that i do at least 10 on the weekends, it’s not as difficult. I know I can do the distance, but what has happened? I almost feel like ‘what’s the point of running a race?’

For one thing, I have to battle traffic. I have to go down a day early to pick up my packet, which means shuffling the kids an hour each way and walking around a large, overcrowded convention center where I would like to pick up things and shop but where, likely, I’ll be battling two toddlers in tow.

The race means getting up super-early on Sunday morning prior, as i would have to drive an hour and get a shuttle by 6 to get to the starting line, where I would likely end up standing around for at least an hour wondering why I couldn’t have just found a closer parking space to begin with.

Of course the race also means money. $95 to register, gas down and back twice, and the items I want to purchase at the convention, which will be a T-shirt and possibly some new socks. Oh, and a bumper sticker; i have my 26.2 one, so I need to balance it out with a 13.1 one.

The payoff? Freedom of running with others who love to run. Excitement and energy and people calling my name. That doesn’t happen when I do 13 miles around my neighborhood. I’m lucky to pass anyone that early in the morning! I enjoy the crowds that come to watch, and knowing that other people are watching me thinking they would like to do that one day. You can’t beat a great race.

Which is why I will battle parking, my wallet,the kids at the convention, and a slew of other obstacles to cross the finish line in Jacksonville next Sunday.

I’m going to sign up now, before I change my mind!

I’m turning the big 4-0 next week.

This has been a hard confession.

I’ve ignored it, screamed about it, had a few too many glasses of vino as I reflected on it.

I’ve told my kids I’m turning 25, again, and they believe it (you gotta love kids!)

I’ve told people I would not be celebrating this year, that I didn’t want gifts, and that if they found me wandering the neighborhood mumbling incoherently to leave me the heck alone!

I’ve also told off all those happy people who just turned 40 and who have said, “Oh, it’s just a number! Look at me! I’m so happy!” with a lot of exclamation points in their voice. (Who the hell wants to get old, is what I say?! Once you hit 21 you can legally do everything you need to do. From there it’s all downhill!)

I’ve spent a lot of time looking backward in the past month, recalling those things I loved about being younger and cursing those things I hate about growing older.

But life is a, well, you know what it is, and then you move on.

You have to keep running, right?

So I am.

Now, this week I plan to spend my time considering the things I love about getting older.

I’m going to ignore the few gray hairs that have sprouted up on my head like wayward children, and the cricks and creaks and groans my bones make when I get out of bed in the morning.

Screw the stomach that doesn’t agree with hot sauce anymore – she’s getting it anyway, because I’m not slowing down.

And the fact that I can’t stay up past 11 anymore without feeling like crap the next day, even if I’m only snuggled up on the couch with a good book, will just have to wait.

One thing I’ve noticed is my addiction,  obsession,  love of running has actually changed for the good as I’ve aged, unlike the wrinkles near my eyes.

I’ve learned:

1. My body can perform miracles. It birthed two babies and it has run two marathons. I can run in the rain, in t he heat, in the snow, and on ice. I can run with a cold. I can run when I think I don’t want to run (and oftentimes, those end up being the best runs).
2. I don’t have anything to prove to anyone else. In my earlier years, especially my twenties, running was about winning. It was about going faster than the next person. I’d even hurt myself attempting to do this. Nowadays I realize running is internal, it’s intrinsic, it’s in-me. I just have to do it; that’s the beauty of running.
3. If it hurts, I should slow down. When you’re young , pain seems good. “Oh yea, my knee was on FIRE man and I ran to the finish line anyway! Sure, they may have to replace it, but I have another one, right?” Um, until you get older. Then you realize if you do something stupid, like run while injured, you may be giving up running for good. And trust me, when you’re on the bad side of 40 you don’t want to have to give shit up for good. Period.
4. Running, it does a body good. Finally, all I can say is this: I’m in better shape now than I was when I graduated high school, graduated college, finished my master’s degree, and married my husband. Running has gotten me through ups and downs and highs and lows, and in the meantime it has allowed me to continue to wear the same size clothes for the past 10 years even while eating peanut butter straight out of the jar. Not too shabby.

While I’m not happy about turning 40, nor will I ever be, I can see some of the upsides to aging, even though my eyesight, sadly, is not what it was when I was 20.

Who needs the eyes anyway, right?

In the meantime I have scheduled 2 half marathons, one in February and one in March, as I recover from my cartilage tear. If all goes well I’d like to do one marathon prior to summer; if it doesn’t, oh well. (You see, there is it, that great running attitude again! Forty still stinks though!)

Happy Running!

My first 13 mile training run for this racing season. It went pretty well. The weather held up – nice and brisk.  The knees, though sore now, held up – so I’m icing them down. Next week I do 9 or 10 and then up to 15 in hopes of getting ready for the Jacksonville Marathon in December.

UPDATE
One day later:

Daughter began getting sick at noon, as I finished up this post -  as you know you don’t have much time once the baby starts throwing up.

She is doing much better today, but we had a rough, rough night. We were up most of it. Her fever has broken and she’s holding food down, but I can tell you this – it is way worse to watch this little person that you love so much it hurts to throw up than it is to do it  yourself!

RUNNING NEWS:
I ran tonight instead of this AM. I had to get out of the house – 2 kids, one sick and one not, inside all day, it’s tough! I did 5 miles in record time. Why is my time so much better in the night than in the morning, when I am used to running?

UPDATE
One day later:

See, when you have kids you can’t get everything done at once. This post has taken two days! It is my off day of running, and I slept in – yay!

I keep getting asked if I am doing the Jacksonville marathon – and the answer is, I hope!

I have learned this when you have kids:

Don’t expect anything. Expect everything!

It is tough to plan for things when you have young kids. So much comes up. I want to run the Jax marathon, but in all honesty I am trying to hold off on making committments with my running right now. I did that with Disney and though I felt I had trained enough, maybe I had not. We moved cross country, kids got the flu, and things changed all during my training. I don’t want to commit to something this time and get injured again.

I want to go in prepared.

After Sunday’s half marathon training run, I know I can do the half. So that’s all I’m commited to at this time.

I’d like to do the full -

It just depends on where life takes me in the next two months!

My new rule of running:

Fit it in when you can, and make it enjoyable.

So often I think we forget running is something we do for enjoyment and stress relief. It’s not supposed to bring us MORE stress. So often in the past I have tried to commit to this, or stick to that strict schedule, and then I’m all stressed out about my runs and things go sour quickly.

I’m trying to take a more relaxed approach to  running now. And in all honesty, for the past six months or so this has worked out well for me.

Before that time I would have never considered going for a 5 mile run at 6 PM. Never! If I missed it in the AM, it was gone for the day.

I believe this more relaxed approach has really helped me a lot, and has improved my running. I realize I am a runner – I can run whenever I can go; all I need is my shoes!

SPEAKING OF SHOES:
I ordered my new pair last night! Went with Saucony Progrid Guides, wide, again, because damn they work well! I had asked a store to order them for me, since I can’t get to a running store in this town; two weeks later, still no word from them. I called, asked where the shoes could be, and they said they weren’t sure – so I ordered them off of Amazon and got them about twelve dollars cheaper!

WOOT!

Can’t wait until they come in. They will be my Jax shoes, marathon or half.

Hope all your runs are good ones today!