I’ve been on the edge of running or not running a half marathon next weekend.

Prior to distance running this choice would have been made long before now. Now that i do at least 10 on the weekends, it’s not as difficult. I know I can do the distance, but what has happened? I almost feel like ‘what’s the point of running a race?’

For one thing, I have to battle traffic. I have to go down a day early to pick up my packet, which means shuffling the kids an hour each way and walking around a large, overcrowded convention center where I would like to pick up things and shop but where, likely, I’ll be battling two toddlers in tow.

The race means getting up super-early on Sunday morning prior, as i would have to drive an hour and get a shuttle by 6 to get to the starting line, where I would likely end up standing around for at least an hour wondering why I couldn’t have just found a closer parking space to begin with.

Of course the race also means money. $95 to register, gas down and back twice, and the items I want to purchase at the convention, which will be a T-shirt and possibly some new socks. Oh, and a bumper sticker; i have my 26.2 one, so I need to balance it out with a 13.1 one.

The payoff? Freedom of running with others who love to run. Excitement and energy and people calling my name. That doesn’t happen when I do 13 miles around my neighborhood. I’m lucky to pass anyone that early in the morning! I enjoy the crowds that come to watch, and knowing that other people are watching me thinking they would like to do that one day. You can’t beat a great race.

Which is why I will battle parking, my wallet,the kids at the convention, and a slew of other obstacles to cross the finish line in Jacksonville next Sunday.

I’m going to sign up now, before I change my mind!

There, I have said it.

I’m turning the big 4-0 next week.

This has been a hard confession.

I’ve ignored it, screamed about it, had a few too many glasses of vino as I reflected on it.

I’ve told my kids I’m turning 25, again, and they believe it (you gotta love kids!)

I’ve told people I would not be celebrating this year, that I didn’t want gifts, and that if they found me wandering the neighborhood mumbling incoherently to leave me the heck alone!

I’ve also told off all those happy people who just turned 40 and who have said, “Oh, it’s just a number! Look at me! I’m so happy!” with a lot of exclamation points in their voice. (Who the hell wants to get old, is what I say?! Once you hit 21 you can legally do everything you need to do. From there it’s all downhill!)

I’ve spent a lot of time looking backward in the past month, recalling those things I loved about being younger and cursing those things I hate about growing older.

But life is a, well, you know what it is, and then you move on.

You have to keep running, right?

So I am.

Now, this week I plan to spend my time considering the things I love about getting older.

I’m going to ignore the few gray hairs that have sprouted up on my head like wayward children, and the cricks and creaks and groans my bones make when I get out of bed in the morning.

Screw the stomach that doesn’t agree with hot sauce anymore – she’s getting it anyway, because I’m not slowing down.

And the fact that I can’t stay up past 11 anymore without feeling like crap the next day, even if I’m only snuggled up on the couch with a good book, will just have to wait.

One thing I’ve noticed is my addiction,  obsession,  love of running has actually changed for the good as I’ve aged, unlike the wrinkles near my eyes.

I’ve learned:

1. My body can perform miracles. It birthed two babies and it has run two marathons. I can run in the rain, in t he heat, in the snow, and on ice. I can run with a cold. I can run when I think I don’t want to run (and oftentimes, those end up being the best runs).
2. I don’t have anything to prove to anyone else. In my earlier years, especially my twenties, running was about winning. It was about going faster than the next person. I’d even hurt myself attempting to do this. Nowadays I realize running is internal, it’s intrinsic, it’s in-me. I just have to do it; that’s the beauty of running.
3. If it hurts, I should slow down. When you’re young , pain seems good. “Oh yea, my knee was on FIRE man and I ran to the finish line anyway! Sure, they may have to replace it, but I have another one, right?” Um, until you get older. Then you realize if you do something stupid, like run while injured, you may be giving up running for good. And trust me, when you’re on the bad side of 40 you don’t want to have to give shit up for good. Period.
4. Running, it does a body good. Finally, all I can say is this: I’m in better shape now than I was when I graduated high school, graduated college, finished my master’s degree, and married my husband. Running has gotten me through ups and downs and highs and lows, and in the meantime it has allowed me to continue to wear the same size clothes for the past 10 years even while eating peanut butter straight out of the jar. Not too shabby.

While I’m not happy about turning 40, nor will I ever be, I can see some of the upsides to aging, even though my eyesight, sadly, is not what it was when I was 20.

Who needs the eyes anyway, right?

In the meantime I have scheduled 2 half marathons, one in February and one in March, as I recover from my cartilage tear. If all goes well I’d like to do one marathon prior to summer; if it doesn’t, oh well. (You see, there is it, that great running attitude again! Forty still stinks though!)

Happy Running!

I did my first half marathon of the season – solo, that is.

My first 13 mile training run for this racing season. It went pretty well. The weather held up – nice and brisk.  The knees, though sore now, held up – so I’m icing them down. Next week I do 9 or 10 and then up to 15 in hopes of getting ready for the Jacksonville Marathon in December.

UPDATE
One day later:

Daughter began getting sick at noon, as I finished up this post -  as you know you don’t have much time once the baby starts throwing up.

She is doing much better today, but we had a rough, rough night. We were up most of it. Her fever has broken and she’s holding food down, but I can tell you this – it is way worse to watch this little person that you love so much it hurts to throw up than it is to do it  yourself!

RUNNING NEWS:
I ran tonight instead of this AM. I had to get out of the house – 2 kids, one sick and one not, inside all day, it’s tough! I did 5 miles in record time. Why is my time so much better in the night than in the morning, when I am used to running?

UPDATE
One day later:

See, when you have kids you can’t get everything done at once. This post has taken two days! It is my off day of running, and I slept in – yay!

I keep getting asked if I am doing the Jacksonville marathon – and the answer is, I hope!

I have learned this when you have kids:

Don’t expect anything. Expect everything!

It is tough to plan for things when you have young kids. So much comes up. I want to run the Jax marathon, but in all honesty I am trying to hold off on making committments with my running right now. I did that with Disney and though I felt I had trained enough, maybe I had not. We moved cross country, kids got the flu, and things changed all during my training. I don’t want to commit to something this time and get injured again.

I want to go in prepared.

After Sunday’s half marathon training run, I know I can do the half. So that’s all I’m commited to at this time.

I’d like to do the full -

It just depends on where life takes me in the next two months!

My new rule of running:

Fit it in when you can, and make it enjoyable.

So often I think we forget running is something we do for enjoyment and stress relief. It’s not supposed to bring us MORE stress. So often in the past I have tried to commit to this, or stick to that strict schedule, and then I’m all stressed out about my runs and things go sour quickly.

I’m trying to take a more relaxed approach to  running now. And in all honesty, for the past six months or so this has worked out well for me.

Before that time I would have never considered going for a 5 mile run at 6 PM. Never! If I missed it in the AM, it was gone for the day.

I believe this more relaxed approach has really helped me a lot, and has improved my running. I realize I am a runner – I can run whenever I can go; all I need is my shoes!

SPEAKING OF SHOES:
I ordered my new pair last night! Went with Saucony Progrid Guides, wide, again, because damn they work well! I had asked a store to order them for me, since I can’t get to a running store in this town; two weeks later, still no word from them. I called, asked where the shoes could be, and they said they weren’t sure – so I ordered them off of Amazon and got them about twelve dollars cheaper!

WOOT!

Can’t wait until they come in. They will be my Jax shoes, marathon or half.

Hope all your runs are good ones today!

You may have noticed I have been on hiatus.

MIA.

In South Georgia, on a house hunting expedition, as we prepare for our cross country move. We spent eleven days there, and they were jam packed days in which we got little sleep, trudged from house to house for four days in a row, suffered a lot from the three hour time difference and, thankfully, found a house that we absolutely love! Yes! We did it! We found a house!

The home is in great shape but needs some TLC as it was a bank owned property, but here is the view from our backyard! When we get the front yard cleaned up I’ll post a photo of it.

Here is a photo of our girls as we walked along the St Mary’s Historical area downtown.

We are back in So Cal now for seven weeks and then we will begin the next part of our life. It starts with a cross country drive, car loaded down, kids strapped in their seats! Now, that will be one to write about!

So I had a scary run experience while there. I felt fine starting off at 5 AM, one 17 oz bottle of water, one of Gatorade, some bagel in my stomach, a power bar in my pack. My goal: 8 miles.

I felt the humidity as soon as I stepped outside but I was committed to staying hydrated by drinking those two bottles during the run. I started drinking immediately.

About two miles in I met a guy that has run marathons in 42 states. He belongs to the 50 marathons in 50 states club. I have not looked into it yet, as I had no internet access at the condo where we stayed, but as soon as I do I will post some info. It sounds like fun.

Anyway, my stomach began to rumble about 3 miles into the run. I knew I wouldn’t make it the 8. Even the guy who lived in South Carolina said it was hot, so I knew it must be, and I have always had a sensitivity to the heat so I have to be careful when it gets really hot. Yet he had only one bottle of water, I had two bottles of liquid, and I felt prepared.

At mile 6 I told him I couldn’t go any further. I didn’t feel sick, just tired and hot and I really had to go to the bathroom.

And go I did. I won’t go into any gory details, but if you run distances you know what I’m talking about.

I was so hot I stripped down between trips to the toilet and put some water on my head. I ate a bowl of oatmeal, though I felt like puking, and I guzzled large amounts of liquids to replenish myself.

But I couldn’t stop going to the bathroom. Finally I took a cold shower, tried to eat some pretzels, which I could barely swallow, and laid down again.

We had to go house hunting and I didn’t want to miss the three houses that were first, and that were also located near our condo, so I made it down to the car but I told my husband I might not make it much further. He suggested I stay home but I didn’t want to miss it. I felt very tired, and had a hard time keeping my eyes open. Eventually, I came around some. By nighttime I felt fine.

The next day, while walking down the stairs of our new house, I pulled a muscle in my leg.

Let’s just say that the heat and humidity obviously got to me. I was not only overly hot but then I became dehydrated, and the dehydration caused the sickness to get worse and then the muscle pull the next day.

I think of myself as a smart runner. I had already run in that area a few times, so this wasn’t my first run in the humidity, and I didn’t even feel that sick while running; I just had to go to the bathroom.

It scared me so much that I took tentative runs the rest of the time. The muscle pull got better a few days later. I did a three miler and then a four miler before we left. They went fine.

I think part of the problem was that I didn’t hydrate myself as much as i should have the day before I ran. Once we get there I think I will have to make a really conscious effort of drinking tons of liquid the night before a long run in the humidity. I did go for the run at the early morning time I always do, but it was still hot, hot, hot.

Despite that run, and that scare, the rest of the runs were great. I missed having my weights and my exercise ball and particularly my kettlebell! I did my situps and crunches and push ups but they just didn’t feel the same! I’m glad to be back home with all of my tools. The condo didn’t have a great yoga place either. My new house: Perfect! I can do it right in the living room overlooking the marsh. I can’t wait!

I hope everyone has been healthy and having fun and having good runs. I have some weight to make up. I lost about four pounds, and I’m sure that part of that was how sick I got. I need to get that weight back on, so chocolate, here I come! Today I did a nine miler, and it was great. It was cool here, with some mist over the ocean. It’s going to be hard to leave this weather behind, the coolness of the early mornings, but I can’t wait to get to where we are going, either!

Happy Running!

I love long distance running.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say this over and over again. I just love the days that I get up early, load up my pack and head out into the early dawn-sometimes pre-dawn-day.

Today I spent my time thinking about so many different things and I made some discoveries on this run.

First, I discovered, or rediscovered, the vividness of everything after a long run. Does this happen to you? The sky, when blue, is the bluest it has every been. The green of leaves on the tree outside are so bright green it’s almost unbelievable. I know these things are always these colors, right? But why does everything seem so much brighter, so much more alive, when you finish an 11 miler?

Secondly, the body is an amazing machine. Seriously. You can train it to do almost anything you want it to do. I mean, you can run 26.2 miles or more! You just have to train. I thought of my body today as I ran, the way that it met that last marathon challenge and the way that I hope it meets this one. How is it that my feet can pound the pavement that long and still carry me around the rest of the day? That my arms can remain in the same position for 2 hours and not remain sore after the run? It is so true, that if we treat our bodies well, they will treat us well, and since we have to live in this shell for (hopefully) a really long time, I think its in our best interest to be kind to our body!

Thirdly, our minds are even more amazing than our bodies. It is our mind that says, “Okay, I’ve been running now for an hour and a half. I’m hot. I’m sweaty. I want something to eat-like a side of beef and a dozen eggs-but I’m gonna keep on going for a bit longer. When we train our minds to think positive thoughts, positive thoughts will follow. Don’t believe me? Train for a marathon. You can’t run 26.2 if you spend the entire time getting down on yourself, thinking you can’t do it.

The beautiful thing is this: If you train your mind to run long distances, you can train your mind to do anything. If you can stand the silence of being alone for this long of a time, you can do whatever it is that you want to do. I have yet to meet a runner with a negative attitude about life. Have you? Most runners really appreciate everything around them. I think that we learn to do this through our running, particularly in the distances, because we spend so much time training ourselves to think positively. We can make the finish line. We can do that last four mile stint before we get home. We can climb that obnoxious hill that suddenly jumped out in front of us.

I made one other startling discovery on this run. As I ran down the beach I stopped at a line of public restrooms to use the bathroom (damn long runs-that is the ONE negative thing I can say about them-I can’t get through them without having to GO!) I pushed the first few doors. Two were locked, and then the third swung open but stopped short. I looked down and saw a body on the floor. Yep, a body. Was it dead? I don’t know. I screamed, turned, and ran. I looked back and was not being followed. The door hadn’t reopened. Being alone and female, I was not about to go back and see if that guy was okay (and it was a guy, I think, from the state of the blue jeans). Instead, I hurried on. Living in a beach community, it’s not abnormal to find someone passed out somewhere along the beach. Thankfully it was daylight and there were other runners around, so I felt pretty safe. I couldn’t find someone to tell about the body though, as there weren’t any county workers or police there yet. So, I don’t know what happened to that guy, but I can tell you he scared the living daylights out of me this morning!

Okay, so don’t throw your grounds at me if you think drinking coffee before a race is a bad idea.

I get it. You don’t want to get all hopped up on caffeine before a long race. I’m sure your heart will hate you for chugging three mugs of java right before you run ten miles.

But . . . a study in the Journal of Science and Medicine in Sport does show that drinking down an eight ounce mug of coffee improved race times of both recreational and advanced runners in a 5K.

Study co-author Brendan O’Brien says that the key may be that caffeine alters your perception of pain and allows you to run farther and faster than when you haven’t chugged a tall latte.

I know in my house, if I get up for a long run, or any very early morning run, I save the caffeine for post-run.

If I get up early and then head to the gym to run, I have a cup of coffee prior to working out.

I have found on days when I have that cup of coffee beforehand that it does get my blood moving.

But I have also found that it does the same on those mornings when I have had a good night’s sleep.

I doubt I’ll start consuming caffeine before each run, but the study does make me feel better about the days when I do drink coffee before a run!

So what’s your routine? Coffee or no before a run? I have read about people who get up for a marathon and go into it with one bagel and one cup of coffee in their bellies. Is this you?!

We all know how just one little thing can change the course of our lives forever.

One moment. One instant. One second.

The same goes with training. I recall training for my first marathon, the Surf City, and during a house cleaning episode I ran my very large, very heavy chair over my big toe, which immediately swelled. I thought for sure I had broken it. I called my mom crying. I had trained so hard.

Luckily, the toe ended up being fine.

Fast forward to this morning. I was cleaning again and, as most of you know, training for the Long Beach marathon. The phone rang. I sprinted towards it, praying it was my husband.

It was.

You see, we’ve been waiting for some news about a new job, in a new state, clear across the country.

Our family is all on the east coast; we are on the west. We love it here. California offers so much to those who enjoy fitness and health.

On the other hand, if you moved here right as the housing market boomed and you didn’t buy, you are out. A median home costs $600K in our neighborhood. We like our neighborhood, but the homes for this price are old and mostly need updating. At $600K we would be breaking the banks and then have work to do.

This relocation meant a few things. First, we’d be closer to family. Second, we’d be able to afford a house. Third, we are gypsies at heart, my husband and I. We enjoy going new places, exploring new territories. The thought of ’settling’ down’ kind of terrifies us.

So we have had our fingers crossed. And the call came.

He got the job!

We are moving. Not only that, we are doing so in just three short months. Two weeks after the Long Beach Marathon. I hadn’t signed up for it yet knowing what might happen. Now it looks like I won’t.

I could, I suppose. However, I’m going to be so busy with packing and moving arrangements that I don’t want to put an added stress on what will be a hectic few months.

Instead, I’m going to run the Disney Marathon in January. I signed up yesterday, after hearing about our move. My family lives fairly close, so we could make it a family weekend and I could do the race. I’d love to do one where my mom is at the finish line. When she had her stroke in December, I ran my first marathon in February for her.

Now, maybe the next time she can be waiting at the finish line along with the rest of my family.

The really cool thing: When we found out he got the job, my mom was in an airplane on the way to visit us for a week. She got off of the airplane and after telling me about the trip, I asked her this: Next time you come out, do you want to fly nonstop or would you prefer to do it this way again, with a stop in between?

Mom: I guess with the stop.

Me: Oh, well, it doesn’t matter anyway. This is your last visit to California anyway.

My mom broke down in tears.

Life changes so fast. We have been in California for six years. I’ve enjoyed the time here, but I am glad to be moving on.

So, on to my running and my personal certification training. I’m going to do that marathon in january and get the certification and begin a mommy boot camp class in Georgia, where we will be living. I can’t find anything like it in that area and it has been something I’ve wanted to do for quite some time.

And for my running, I know it will be different. It will be humid there, and I’m used to running in the dry heat. It will be less traffic (the town is fairly small) and I can’t wait to not dodge lights and cars who don’t look before pulling out of a shopping center.

I will keep you posted on the training during the move.

Life is going to be hectic, but then it is already.

You just gotta keep running through!