My husband and I had a very interesting conversation on our way down to Florida to visit family this past weekend. So interesting it made me spit water from my mouth. As soon as the words were out of his mouth I knew it would become the title to Monday’s post!

Our conversation went something like this.

Me: “You know what was funny at the Disney marathon?”

Hubby: “What?”

Me: “Well, you always see men peeing on the side of the road when you run distances, but I’ve never seen women doing it until then.”

Him: “Women? Peeing on the side of hte road? In the woods you mean?”

Me: “No, right there, right on the side. They hitched down their shorts and there they went, for all to see!”

Him: “Seriously?”  Totally stumped, trying to imagine it.

Me: “Only that’s not the crazy part.”

Him: “Which would be?”

Me: “They weren’t only going number one.”

Him: Quiet. Reflective. And then, “No way, Kathy, you aren’t serious. Girls were pooping on the side of the road?”

Me: “Yes, right there, for all to see.”

Him, quiet for another moment and then: “You know, if something makes you defecate on the side of the road, maybe you shouldn’t be doing it!”

Me: Water out of nose.

You may recall the Paula Radcliffe uproar a few years ago, when she stopped on the side of the road to take a poop during the London Marathon.   When asked if she did indeed leave a little something or the other behind on the course Paula replied that she had and that it was an ‘embarassing necessity.’

If you have ever run distances, or ever done any type of running, you probably know what she means! The porta potties are almost hazardous. Runners are notorious for having, well, shall we say looser stools than many. Something about all that action and jiggling that just pushes it out of there.

Not so bad if you are a runner.  We are regular, hear us roar! Who needs bran and prunes and all that junk? Go for a ten miler and there ya go!

So todays post is  for fun. Let us laugh about the uglies of running-the poops on the side of the road, if you will.

If It Makes You Poop on the Side of the Road . . .A List of the Uglies of Running

1. If it turns your toenails black you probably just need a new pair of shoes-chances are the other ones are too tight. Paint the other nails black, trade in the size 10s for 11s (you do know your feet swell when you do distances, right?) and enjoy the show.
2. If it makes your toenail fall off, you probably need some neosporin and a band aid. Buy a colorful one, something that stands out against the black toenails.
3. If it makes you chafe, buy some Vaseline and rub it on your skin before a long run. Your clothes are rubbing against you. Not a big deal! You could even run naked if you would like.
4. If it makes your nose run, wipe it on a shirt. Some even shoot it out as they go. Seriously, running is no beauty pageant.  You get to look pretty after you are all cleaned up. For now, let it rip!
5. If it makes you fart, fart. Enough said.
6. If it rubs your nipples raw, cover them with Vaseline. It certainly isn’t any worse than those first few brutal weeks of breastfeeding!
7. If it gives you blisters, suck it up! That means you went further than you have been going, which is a source of accomplishment! Slap on a band aid (you may need another box if you are covering up the black and missing toenails as well) and keep running.
8. If it hurts, keep going. It will get better. It always does. The pain ends when the feet stop running, and then you hit clarity-so don’t give up!

Happy Pooping Running!