Getting Over the Fear

Fear keeps so many people from doing so many things.

I think about this as I’m starting on my personal trainer journey. I know that many people who are overweight have a fear of starting an exercise program and this fear can hold them back from doing anything.

It’s almost paralyzing. Afraid of something? Don’t try it, just in case.

In case what, though? In case it doesn’t work? For the most part, things do work as long as you give it the old college try. And if they don’t, then you change directions or try another approach. Failing at something does not mean that you aren’t doing a good job; it means that you are trying, and trying is better than not doing anything at all.

So here is my Friday story. I have been unhappy with my highlights for a while now. The girl that did them didn’t do them close enough to my scalp, leaving me with already a quarter inch growth in just about a month. Also, she didn’t tone it, because she said I didn’t need it. I should have insisted. I know I need it. What happens to my hair when not toned? Brassy. Red, gold, but brassy. Something like this, but not quite:

So . . . feeling frustrated (especially after my husband said, “Wow, your roots are really showing!” and he is so unobservant about things that I felt it MUST be bad!), I purchased a $7 box of hair coloring. Same company, different color:

I have never colored my hair.

I have always been scared of doing it on my own, afraid of, well, I’m not sure.

That my hair would look horrible and I’d have only me to blame?

That it would fall out because I’d done something wrong?

I knew, intellectually, I could always go to the salon and have them fix it if it came out bad; in the years of highlighting my hair, I’ve had to go back and have them fixed quite a few times.

Still, I was scared.

I stared at that darn box for almost a week. I hated my hair when I looked in the mirror and knew it would look better back in its original shade but I just didn’t have the guts.

I googled hair coloring at home and read horror stories, and then instructions about how easy it is to do it on your own.

I talked to friends who did their own and said it was no big deal.

Still, I did nothing.

Until today.

I took a deep breath and before I could think more I popped the top of that box and poured the coloring agent on my hair.

And you know what? I realized after I started but before the color came out that I was no longer afraid!

It was the anticipation of the event that got me, and not the actual event itself.

Same goes for the first big race, whether you run a 5K or a marathon. It’s the anticipation, the building up, that is sure to get your nerves going. Even the contemplation of doing such a thing.

When you get there, you realize you can do it. You will do it, because you are there. And if you don’t finish, or you don’t do well, you can always try again.

I think it is the same for weight loss, or taking on an exercise program, or joining the gym. You are scared because you don’t know what it will take out of you. You don’t realize how good it will make you feel when you do it and you succeed, and so you sit back and think up excuses or say Maybe tomorrow.

Eventually tomorrow will come.

Back to my hair: I am happy to report that it looks great! Darker than I originally thought, but back to my original color, so once these darned highlights fade (they are now a nice caramel color, so no brassiness there anymore), I will have a head full of dark hair yet again.

If you are contemplating doing something for yourself today, do it. If you want to start exercising but you don’t know what to do or you are afraid of failing, take a ten minute walk. Not sure you can commit to a gym membership? Try a weeklong pass, which most gyms will honor.

The first step is the hardest. Once you get over that fear during the anticipation of the event, you’ll be fine!